Finding Inspiration

It's been two weeks since my last posting. Took me a while to figure out where I wanted to take this story. I have had projects in the past where everyone wanted a piece of it. So much so that it ended up being torn to shreds. This one is not feeling like that. I sort of feel that while the general response of the reading (especially in follow up discussions) was positive - that no one really cares that much if I finish this. Or make a film. Or become a filmmaker.

When I was younger, people were very excited about it. But I think when you near and cross 30, people start to sort of wish you'd just do something else with your life. They may think you're talented. They may even want to see the stuff you create, but the sense I get from most people is that they wish I'd just let myself live a normal life that wasn't obsessed with this goal.

So. Here I am rewriting a script that I really am not sure anyone cares if I finish. That's one thing I like about writing fantasy - it always seems like it really captures people's imagination much more and they want to visit that world for a while. With drama and even comedy - while they might enjoy the movie, it's never as sexy. It's like suggesting going for an organic salad verses a chocolate Sunday with caramel and chocolate syrup mixed... Well, no matter how much of a healthy eater you are - that Sunday sounds so good!

So here I am mixing a salad together anyway (though I must admit I'm also jotting notes about a very large Sunday as well).

The rewrite is finally coming along. I would very very much like to have it done in the next day or so. There are some placeholder details which are slowing me down. Many times in writing there are things which don't affect the story itself much, but affect the impact of the story.

When I finish I will be sending it to a well known actor who is friends with Famous Friend. Then, I bet, I'll be waiting. However - if I'm committing to making it I can just start preproduction on it anyway. Lining up the locations will be the biggest trick. But the locations (unlike the film I started with this year) are much easier to do.

What I keep longing for is a team. A team of people who would have a vested interest in making this movie happen. I think that will come though after I get it moving. That's my hope at least. And after it is done, hopefully there will be momentum for another. Ideally something I've already written so we can move right into it.

The Cycle

We had the reading on Wednesday. Took me a couple days to think about it.

Last time I had a reading it was for a much more commercial project and it went very well. I made some changes after it which were easy and obvious.

This time it's not so easy.

It seems the lack of a clearly defined genre is a problem because people aren't sure how to prepare themselves. It's not all comedy - it's not all mystery. And it doesn't seem to be either one enough.

That said, people seemed to enjoy it and like it - mostly the relationship. However, the irony is that most people also wanted more of a pay off and follow through on the mystery. So - it's not dead, it's just hard to decide now what I want from it.

One producer warned me of course that ...Well, here's the discussion.

PRODUCER
It's going to be hard to sell this without it having name cast and without it being a thriller. A no-name romantic comedy which isn't really even that is going to be hard.

ME
But I just want people to have a chance to see that I can direct and tell a story - direct actors.

PRODUCER
If you make a movie that doesn't sell, you're not doing yourself any favors. You are suddenly a guy who makes unsalable movies. How does that help your career? Your first movie is very important.

Now this producer understands why I want to make a film - she is just cautioning me from losing sight of the overall goal.

But this of course makes me think - Well, once again I've created something which isn't necessarily the answer. The first time around the problem was the locations were so expensive and the production as a whole was just too big to do. The second time around (this time) now I'm discovering that I've maybe created something which won't accomplish my goal (unless I can get a name actor in it... which... was exactly the thing which killed my chances before). HOWEVER - there is one little difference. Actors get offered horror films all the time. They rarely get offered oddball little movies with very interesting characters. If they are going to do something for backend, they're probably going to want to do something they don't get to normally do. This might do that. But then I'm suddenly relying on getting some actors.

Do I just pony up the cash to do the other one since it might not require name talent to sell?

Do I start the process of rewriting this and then hope I get a name actor?

Do I write a whole new project which will be easy enough to shoot, but still be a genre film enough to sell without a lot of trouble?

Lots of questions.

It's always this same story. You can't get the money to do a movie on the scale you need to show you can direct - then you can't do a smaller scale movie because it won't show that you can direct a salable movie. I could word that better when less sleepy - but the basic idea is there.

I need to get my motivation back. At the moment I feel so beat up by the process that I almost just want to quit. But then I realize. What on Earth would I do? I feel a calling to this like I would imagine monks feel to the church. It makes sense to me - I find the idea of being a storyteller to be too luring. I see the storyteller's role in the history humanity and I see myself being that person.

Sometimes I wish I didn't.

The next blog ought to be more clear.